Independent

Talk about this, At lot of thing that I dont even know. Example, Online Third Party Tranfer. Hehehe I also dont know how to do. Online payment, stock take and lot more thing. She just true that I am not independent enought to do my jobs. I promise her I will do whatever I can do now. I will stay independent.

A decision has made and I need to independent. I think she also want me to be independent and that why she decide that 2. Time will prove everything... I will wait...

Good Start

It been at least 3-4 weeks that I am not having any quarrel with anyone and arguement with anyone 2. In this few week, I learn anger management and self control. It quite hard for sometimes but I believe should able to make it. I actually for hope something that happening right now, my changes and my sincere heart will make someone understand. I will "Gam Bah Teh" for this and I hope I really become a perfect (at least 90% perfect) person.

I need your Wish to make me better !

A Month Ago

Nearly a month that I been alone at home. A feeling of loneliness or feeling of missing something/someone? I am not sure. I just feel that something very different, different in everything that I'm doing now.

A feeling of missing someone are strong and a feeling of sad also strong. I dont know how to explain and express but I believe some of you all experience it and you know my feeling now. Although result still the same... but I am still waiting for something happening. Happening in take back my loneliness and feeling of missing. I wish there have some method or way to solved this.

Thank for Prince still with me, at least I have something that I love. I know I lost her but at least I still have Prince. I know Prince is naughty and drop alot fur, but he is a smart dog. A dog that have intelligent. In this month, I know he know alot thing happen but he just cant express. When I play with him, I know he know something happening and he are not so happy right now.

Nothing special is happening now, but just want share the above with you all. Hope you all stay healhty all the time. Thanks

Smile again

Listening song 朋友变情人再变朋友 and today Sunday March, 18, 2007 a 18th days... who I promise to listen and agreed to her everything . This days, give me a feeling of loving her...

I never been so happy since the broken of the relationship. Today I saw her smile happily and my heart just smile with her. As I told, I promise not to hurt her again anymore and always make her always happy. A simple smile from her really make me crazy... I love to see she smile...

Lonely really give me think alot. Alot in the sense that cant even store in my memory. I love her but it just can be friend. I think it might best solution now. Nothing can be done except expressing here. I want express to every visitor of this blogger that I really miss her... I miss her every days, every hours, every minutes and every seconds...

Late night, 11.02 am

Genie In the Bottle

If you ask me what I want now... I tell you I want a Genie in the Bottle... not the song that Britney/Christina sing hor :p I wish Genie sent me back to 2005 the years I promise I will change. I will change completely. Hahaha.. possible? ermmm maybe in my dream.

Sometime I was thinking... unfair, this world is unfair. unfair in the sense that why so much effort I put in this love at the end I get nothing... but I never blame anything or anyone cause the main problem still myself. I just hope I can I more wish that I can back to 2005.

It sound bullshit right? but if 1 day it really happen my 1st wish is this. However thing already passed, I cant do anything just wait. Wait for nothing coming, wait for no one. Times is the cruel"er" thing in the world... once pass we cant even take back...

Remember to appriciated, remember to thanks people who help us and remember always love your love one. Dont like me, Dont do what I am doing previous dont even follow my footstep. Do your best to love your love one. Dont ever disapointing them.

I truely wish and pray for the world, everyone can stay lovely with their love one. Amen
16 March 2007

Heart dont know go where

Yesterday quite busy, After working I am going to give a Motivation speech at Vincent's house. The Topic was "Overcoming Obstacles". Suppose not a right person, however I did completed with honor hahaha... I dont know how was my speech but for me, I think I do my best.

Dont know what happen to me nowadays. I feel like always forget thing. Just open this blog. I actually wanted to open and write something... but I forget I want to write blog and do something else 1st. I think suppose we said "Xin Bu Zai Yen"... Maybe late sleep? I not sure... This few days/weeks I having late sleep. I slept around 2am everyday. Maybe this cause the problem.

I hope everything just go fine and I wish myself a Good Luck.

Weird

A weird feeling, yesterday night after working and go back home. Bath and with computer in the room. Feeling something... maybe it call lonely? hahaha I not sure but just weird feeling. I will think of what I am doing all the while in this moments... Shit, the memories automatically come ... I also sien...

Maybe just like what she said, take time to get use to it. But frankly I prefer have more people in my room. Just like sengcai as my room mate and she my GF. Time pass and no waiting. Thing pass also no more chance. What we can do just go and do whatever think is important. Be sure what we doing are benefit to ourself and others. That already enough.

I dont know how long to take to heal back my feeling and how to to heal my our relationship as friend... I still waiting...

Tear Drop...

黄品冠-朋友变情人再变朋友
※ music ※

安静的房间还有你的温柔
躺在棉被上看着多的枕头
为何分手后回忆就被偷走
爱情走到尽头是否可以做朋友
你和我以前是朋友心情不错
就想约你走走
你要电影我听你唱歌
我们总是无话不说
还能做朋友
或许这是最好的结果
朋友变情人再变朋友
谁懂这坎坷

爱上你以后愉悦很轻松
现实太残酷梦中你会拥抱我
当爱上以后如今我们分手
我变成情歌手
是唱太多太多bala歌
你和我现在是朋友
你那么好却只能做朋友
你撞了我我装无所谓
我们如何要求更多
还能做朋友
或许这是最好的结果
朋友变情人再变朋友
只能显真格

你和我以前是朋友
心情不错
就想约你走走
你要电影我听你唱歌
我们总是无话不说
还能做朋友
或许这是最好的结果
朋友变情人再变朋友
谁懂这坎坷

你和我现在是朋友
你那么好却只能做朋友
你撞了我我装无所谓
我们如何要求更多
还能做朋友
或许这是最好的结果
朋友变情人再变朋友
只能写真的

朋友变情人再变朋友
祝我们快乐!!!

Not a Good Day

Yesterday should be a bad day, I going Sri Petaling for a class. When arrived, I am going to the restaurant to order a Tong Fen Soup with prawn. Once billed, the Tong Fen Soup cost me RM18 :( so expensive. Purposely want to save money but spend mor than 3 times...

After back to home and which want to express my feeling to her but she insist dont want to see me and she wanna go to bed. I am quite dissapointed because I just want to express what I been face to her as friend concern. So I also never angry her... I know currently she dont want to see me.

So after arrived home, I go to accompany prince a short while. Prince are sad this few days. He also know what happening, I believe. I will spend sometime to bring him our for jalan2 this few day. I wish everything just fine in my life !






See Prince face? so sad...

My Feeling

After decided, what to do, feeling better but... my heart feel sour. Sour interm of when I do somethin that we always or been do together. I even feel this when I written this blog.

Sunday, I go to 7-11 to going buy some drink. When arrived 7-11, hear feel sour when I saw slupee :( I still remember my love 1 like slupee last time. I remember I always buy for her when we go 7-11.

That really sad, tear drop however I cant do anything about it just to decided leave her. Time goes very fast and it always my 2 weeks without her. My heart never forget her and miss her just like last time. I hate myself decide to leave her buy I have no choice to make the decision. That is the best decision between us.

I really hope 1 coming day she will back to my side but now I just hope she can be my friend. Miss her 11 March, 2007

It come naturally

A word come from my best friend's girlfriend. It come naturally. My oh my... the word break my heart and open my brain. Every thing come naturally, if you love her... but she already not love you, you cant do anything and cant force. The way to do is respect her decision. I know you will said... 6 years man... How can you decide this... I would tell you, If you also sad,then mind sadness should multiple by 100 or 1000. This is my sadness.

I dont want "my love" worried, sad and unhappy. That what I promise her. I promise her I wont make her sad anymore. But if I continue this... She will unhappy and sad forever... Even you ask me, why not tried to convience her again... I would tell you, what you all think of I already done. Je regrette, Je t'aime is word I wanna tell her.

I never give up with my love with her. I just respect her decision. I still love her and I still waiting for her love, but now really cant... everything cant be force and true love come naturally between 2 people.

All readers here, believe me, I cant gurantee thing happen in future, but I am still waiting for her love until she really find her true love and the person. That maybe me or not.

I wish she can have a great life and I wish I always be her bestfriend to take care her. Just best friend care... with love but is best friend love. Remember this days... March 9, 07 Johntim heart is broken and waiting for healing...

Rindu Serindu Rindunya

Berikanlah jawapan
Huraikanlah simpulan
Biar tenang jiwaku
Setelah kasih lama berlalu

Tidak mungkin kulupa
Perjanjian kita
Di bawah rumpun bambu
Di kala bulan sedang beradu oh..oh..

Mengapa terjadi perpisahan ini
Di kala asmara melebar sayapnya
Mengapa kau pergi di saat begini
Di kala hatiku terlukis namamu

Kalau memang tiada jodoh
Apa lagi nak ku heboh
Aku malu pada teman
Pada semua

Rindu ... rindu serindu rindunya
Namun engkau tak mengerti oh...oh
Pilu ... pilu sepilu pilunya
Namun engkau tak perduli

Malu ... semalu malunya
Namun apa daya orang tak sudi
Mahu ... semahu mahunya
Namun apa daya orang dah benci

Berikanlah jawapan
Huraikanlah simpulan
Biar tenang jiwaku
Aku malu

By Spoon

Sleepless Nights

My love,

It has been few days since you left me, having departed from my life. I have suffered terribly all this time, unable to sleep at night well, and during the day I have not known where to run from my pain, which follows me everywhere. I have tried to forget you, as you asked me to, but the sleepless nights laughed at my efforts. Like intimate friends, they won’t release me from their embrace, not for a fleeting moment.

I am so dear to them now, now I myself am loved, not by you, but by my sleepless nights. Even now, as I am writing these lines, they are here beside me. It is night outside. Happy people are sleeping peacefully, while others are writing useless letters. Je regrette, my love, but I can not do you this favor. For the first time, I cannot comply, and refuse to forget you. What could I do when you wouldn’t allow me to say your name? I will never utter it again, but I will keep writing letters that you won’t even read. They will be read by those who don’t sleep at night.

I really Miss You !

By Liana Margiva
Modified by Johntim

Why?

It is really big surprise for me in my life. Maybe really my stupidities that make me have this kind of big surprise. I didn't blame anyone just blame me, myself. I feeling and up and down. Just 1-2 weeks to lose my 10 years relationship. It might not happen in this 1-2 weeks, maybe long time ago that I just don’t know.

To have a new love again, not so easy. To forget your most love one is more and more difficult. Why sky and god treat me this. Why when I know my fault and ready to change, there is no more chance for me. Why? I don’t dare for blame sky or god, but why? Why should happen to me.

I feel myself no energy, no use anymore... why it happen to me again... why in the 1st love I treat her so nice also she leave me. Why 2nd love also same? Why I do right and do wrong also having same conclusion and result??? What I did wrong... why always want me to suffer this kind of pain...

I am very sad and I don’t know what I can do anymore... can anyone guide me???

Bukan Cinta Biasa

This song I love the most, this song my gf also like the most. It really my real feeling...

Begitu banyak cerita
Atas sebab ada duka
Cinta yang ingin ku tulis
Bukanlah cinta biasa

Dua keyakinan beza
Masaalah pun takkan sama
Ku tak ingin dia ragu
Mengapa mereka selalu bertanya

Cintaku bukan di atas kertas
Cintaku getaran yang sama
Tak perlu di paksa
Tak perlu di cari
Kerna ku yakin ada jawabnya...ohhh

Andai ku bisa merubah semua
Hingga tiada orang terluka
Tapi tak mungkin,
Ku tak berdaya
Hanya yakin menunggu
Jawabnya

Janji terikat setia
Masa mengupas segala
Mungkin dia kan berlalu
Ku tak mahu mereka tertawa

Diriku hanya insan biasa
Miliki naluri yang sama
Tak ingin berpaling
Tak ingin berganti
Jiwa ku sering saja berkata..ohh

Andai ku mampu mengulang semula
Ku pasti tiada yang curiga
Kasih kan hadir
Tiada terduga
Hanya yakin menunggu
Jawapan...

Cintaku bukan di atas kertas
Cintaku getaran yang sama
Tak perlu di paksa
Tak perlu di cari
Kerna ku yakin ada jawabnya...ohhh

Andai ku bisa merubah semua
Hingga tiada orang terluka
Tapi tak mungkin
Ku tak berdaya
Hanya yakin menunggu
Jawabnyaohhh

Diriku hanya insan biasa
Miliki naluri yang sama
Tak ingin berpaling
Tak ingin berganti
Jiwa ku sering saja berkata..ohh

Andai ku mampu pulang semula
Ku pasti tiada yang curiga
Kasih kan hadir
Tiada terduka
Hanya yakin menunggu
Jawapan...

Unforgetable Memory

Unforgetable not always happy moments. For me, my unforgetable memory is waiting for some one back. I scared, I worried and my heart are pumping very fast. Just to wait her back. Just want to explain what I feel.

The clock move very slow, the heart pumping very fast. You can imagine how was the feeling. I never feel so scared and so worried. Now I starting to know, how she feel previously. I broken her heart, I broken her soul. Now I understand why she decided. I will try everyway, every method to hope I can have a chance to correct what I did wrongly previous.

I wish her really think of that, at least once. I really wish her back to my side. I was praying everyday now.

Heart Broken

I have break her heart...

I think it is the bad this I do in this lifetime. I should said I really stupid or ... no word could describe. Why I dont change this fast enough and why... My fault. I feel myself very dumb. I dont know how to tell. I want to tell everybody I am sorry to her.

I feel very sorry to HER in my heart. If got chance to tell her again, I will hope her to give me 1 more chance. I really miss her now and I will always right here waiting.

I wish her were here and forever........

Dissapointing You,
KK

Suprise !

What the suprise ! WTS :p

Phone Conversation:
A : Hello, may speak to Mr. Chia
Johntim : Chia speaking
A : Your cheque is ready Mr. Chia
Johntim : Ohhh that great !
A : When you able to come and take?
Johntim : Saturday?
A : Sure !
Johntim : See you on saturday before 12pm
A : Ok, bye
Johntim : Bye !

OMG what a sweeeeeeet conversation ! I get back my Money ! My Money !!!!!! My Moneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey hahaha !

Not Always Bad

I would believe that not everyday we are in bad mood or bad luck. Just like me... A suprise happen this morning....

Phone Conversation:-
Johntim : Hello, may I speak to A.
xxx : Hold on.
Johntim : .....
A : Morning
Johntim : A izzit?
A : Yes
Johntim : May I know my refund for the house?
A : Ok hold on...
Johntim : Ok
A : Ooo your cheque are ready, but...
Johntim : -.-", but wat...
A : The lawyer need to go DRR stamping
Johntim : Ok, when should I get the refund?
A : Should be next week as per lawyer said.
Johntim : Ok thank, I will call the lawyer !

So I wait for 3 years finally I get back my refund ! Thank gods, thank whoever who help me !